I want to make this VERY, very clear. Children are a matanah from Hashem, again CHILDREN are a gift from Hashem and are not to be taken for granted. There are many couples who have the nisayon of having to wait many years and having to go through many trials and tribulations in order to have children, if at all. So lets understand the seriousness of this discussion and how painful it is to anyone chalishing to have children when those who B”H are blessed with children do not “get it” and are negligent at the job of caring for them.
Children can not raise themselves and can not watch themselves. Small children should only be allowed to play outside with other children when older children are outside, or other adults are outside, if a parents specifically goes over to that adult or older child and requests that they watch that child and informs them when they can no longer do so. What would happen to the child if the older kids or parent goes inside and that younger child is left outside on its own? Can that child be trusted to go home alone? Would the child follow some other child home? Would the child cross the street and wander off? Anything can happen and a parent who does not take precaution is a NEGLIGENT parent.
Let’s get something else straight. A four year old is a baby!!!! A four year old is not old enough, alert enough or smart enough to watch a 2 year old. Maybe a four year old can watch a 2 year old while a parent goes to the bathroom, or is in another room. But certainly a four year old is not old enough to watch another sibling outside of the home when the parent is sleeping. Yes even in a bungalow colony. Even a 6 year old is too young for that job! If a mother cannot handle the responsibility of so many young children, then maybe they should consider hiring a mother’s helper or speaking to their Rav about family planning.
There is no excuse in the world for a parent to be on the phone, be too busy or too tired to watch their own children. Your children should be your top priority, and if they aren’t you really need to sit down and think about it.
And grandparents should know their limitations. If you are too tired to babysit or take your grandchildren on outings be upfront and say so. Putting your grandchildren in dangerous situations because you want to be the “good guys” is a foolish mistake. Better to say “NO” and keep them safe.