Max well: “A date is for tachlis, not “to have a good time”. (That may occur of course, but that isn’t the goal.) And to go on a date where you are already certain it isn’t going to be, is an extreme lack of tznius.”
Yes, dating is for the tachlis of getting married, but the way that we are advised to bring about this tachlis is to have a good time together.
gavra_at_work: “…And Kavod Habriyos, as well as Genaivas Da’as.
Of course, the idea is not to completely close off the possibility of Tachlis, but if it is (for example, you feel she is really ugly, or any other Chisaron that you can’t get your mind off), I agree with maxwell.”
This thread is dealing with whether one should go on a 2nd date if he “knows” it won’t work. I see 2 reasons why one should do this.
1) Perhaps he doesn’t really “know”, there are many stories of people who have said no after first date and were pushed to try a 2nd time and ended up married. If this is the reason you are trying a 2nd time, it would be considered “tachlis”.
2) Kavod HaBrioyos – If you dump a girl after a first date it can hurt her feelings. The concepts of mentchlichkeit, good Middos applies to member of the opposite gender as well. In my opinion derech eretz overrides the claim of lack of tznius that people are getting all up in arms over.