OK Philosopher, I hear what you are saying. I need to think on whether or not I agree.
We are redoing our kitchen soon. My plan is to do it with solid wood cabinets, granite counters, 2 dishwashers etc. We can afford to do it and it will be a major quality of life change for us. Every day I spend about 30-45 minutes doing dishes (we don’t use disposable much). Our kitchen is hard to cook in, hard to keep kosher in and really dangerous. I want to get granite so my sister will be willing to join us on Pesach (they don’t kasher laminate). Its a worthwhile investment to me because day in and day out the kitchen will make a major change.
Upgrading a Bar Mitzvah to having a fancy feast? Fleeting. As in, right then.
Its important to stress the importance of the Bar Mitzvah (and even Bat Mitzvah) to your kids properly. Its a coming of age event for all kids – whether or not you celebrate it. The point is that as parents you have to teach your kids what that birthday means, what it means practically, spiritually etc.