When we remodeled our kitchen (I don’t have a big kitchen, but this was a necessity as it was old and nausiating) we were trying to cut costs at every corner. We called our Rov if we really need a milchig stovestop or we can forego it.
My Rov said a gevaldige thing. He said if we put in new cabinets (not custom made, but cheapest of the cheapest)new sinks and new countertops we can spend the extra $250 for a separate milchig stovetop.
Same here. I’m not talking about bas mitzvas. I’m not talking about extra luxuries or extravagant affairs. I am talking about boys marking a major event in their lives, an event that marks their entrance into adulthood and their full responsibilty to follow the Torah laws.
If one doesn’t go on vacations and their entire lifestyle is totally moneypinching in all areas, I can understand them for only sponsoring a kiddush in shul. But if there is money for extracurricular activities (like music lessons,etc.), vacations, a nice house then I would think that only a kiddush in shul shows that one places more importance in other areas of their lives.
Not that I’m saying one should make extravagant affairs. I think a person’s entire lifestyle should be lived how they can afford it and those who live lavishly can’t necessarily afford it. But I think one should make a bar mitzvah (not bas mitzva)in the same bracket as how they live their lives so that the children can see that we are very serious about marking this milestone to the best of our ability.