An important and perhaps not as addressed issue is this: How will it affect the girls they will one day marry? Husband’s actually have an obligation to support their wives and families; if you find a girl that’s willing to support that’s wonderful, but unfortunately many girls are made to feel awful f they do not choose a Kollel lifestyle. When I was in seminary my class and a teacher had a volatile argument about this: The teacher seemed to be of the opinion that anyone not in Kollel was inferior. While I agree that learning in Kollel is a great and admirable (and I guess you could say ‘superior’ choice), that does not make people *not* in Kollel inferior! And yet the when I argued, metaphorically, that although a plumber (“working boy”) may not be as prestigious as a lawyer (“learner”) both are still very necessary, the teacher actually said: “Ah, but you don’t respect the plumber!” Wrong. His job, perhaps not. Him as a person? Well, I should think that depends on the person!! Let us not forget that a husband’s obligation in supporting his family is stipulated in the Kesuba, that many Gedolim of years past worked to support, and that is so important not to browbeat or use the Shidduch specter to terrify people into a lifestyle they are not cut out for. It’s not a mitzvah to be Kollel and miserable. It is to follow the Torah and be happy. Let’s do the math, hmmm?
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