so we agree, a person cannot work or learn in an environment where he can not handle the responsibilities and will succumb to geneivah.
In addition, all things being equal, learning is a much better “career” than working. Working takes you through this world, learning to the next. But that only works if learning can take you (and your family) through this world. A husband is obligated to support his wife and family on their level. Unfortunately (or fortunately) learning in kollel pays extremely little. It doesn’t matter how much you love learning, or how much time you’re willing to spend on it, or the fact that learning is objectively the most productive career. If your wife and kids are physically and psychologically suffering (chas veshalom), you cannot do it. You must find yourself a job that pays more (obviously one that you can do and will not violate geneivah while doing it)