For all those of you who think 12/13 is responsible how many of you have given them your credit card???? How many of you would trust them to be home alone for a weekend? OK, a night? PLEAAAAASE. Give me a break! How many of them get up and get themselves to school on a regular basis and are not even driven when they miss the school bus? How many earn an allowance and help around the house without being asked? How many help around the house when being asked? How many do you trust to babysit for their siblings? How many do you trust to babysit for nieces and nephews? How many go to the doctor alone? How many go on the train alone?
How many have curfews? How many go clothing shopping without you? How many go food shopping without you? OK, I think I made my point, 12 and 13 year olds are halachakly responsible for their mitzvos and their sins probably because that is the time they become hormonal and their parents should no longer be responsible for the things they might do. But that doesn’t mean that they are emotionally mature or capable of handling everything that is thrown their way nor are they capable of dealing with the extreme pain that normally pushes them off the derech.
Look kids make many normal kid mistakes and can rarely explain why they do that. The answer is usually because they are kids and are supposed to make mistakes, that’s how they learn. It is a built in concept, kids do kids things, foolish and irresponsible kids things. Kal v’chomer what do you expect kids who are in severe emotional and/or psychological pain to do? You want them to be responsible for their emotional choices? We are not talking about bad behavior here because they didn’t get the red lollipop. They want to rip and tear the pain off of their bodies, out of their hearts and out of their minds. Can you even imagine such pain???? That is why the first thing a young man does is take off his kipah or tzizis. That is how he tests the waters. It is the levush he first tries to rid himself of before everything else. If that makes him feel better, that is where it ends at least for a while. If that doesn’t work, he stops putting on teffilin and stops davening. If that doesn’t work, he will break shabbos, and if that doesn’t work for him, he will go even further. Through the process he will learn to smoke, drink and then drug to ease the pain and keep from going another step and another step. Some kids have to hit rock bottom before they can turn around and come back. Some are much luckier.
If you REALLY don’t understand this and still believe that it is a logical choice, or a choice they clearly and consciously are making then you truly have no knowledge and no understanding of this parsha!