Teenager, the fact that you come here means that you still feel a strong connection to Judaism and the friendship of other Jews (even though everybody fights here all the time like brothers and sisters do). That is a positive thing. You must know that in the goyishe world, there is not this same feeling of closeness, and sometimes the taunting gets very cruel, much worse than here even where the worst that can happen is that people call each other an apikores.
Therefore, there is still much hope for you to return. In addition, when you think about it, there can’t really be much of an attraction for drugs, because people who never used them don’t ever miss them, and don’t even know what the attraction is. When we are without food on the other hand, we all feel real hunger pains. All the drugs do is to fry your brain. It will make it much harder for you to function in the future, and will be a bad stain on your record for future jobs, etc. It is for your own good that people tell you to stay clean. It has nothing to do with yiddishkeit (except that yiddishkeit is really all about living the happiest and healthiest way). I think that deep down you really don’t feel so happy about your lifestyle, and even though yiddishkeit appears very difficult and a big drag, for some mysterious reason, it makes us happier, despite all the zillions of difficult rules. Why not just keep a few of the rules, and see how it goes.