i didn’t say be quiet and calm down i said throwing stones doesn’t help in the lease, and even i, who considers myself (and am considered by others) very frum and tznius, have a difficult time not getting turned off when i’m yelled at ‘lo tznua’ in meah shearim – k”v someone who really is doing something wrong. your goal is not to turn them off (not off the derech, just gives a really bad feeling that’s hard to grow past) is it? i didn’t think so.
i just say that soft words are probably going to get you where you want more effectively.
PLEASE keep being right and decisive about your correct opinions/facts, but i don’t understand why the abrasiveness is necessary!