I usually don’t post in coffee room but this post touched me deeply and I read every comment. The one from EstherH stands out the most because I just can’t believe that someone could say that. The words we say can so affect others. since this is anonymous I will say that a very close relative of my husband’s (very close) said that he was bad and if I married him i would be crying a lot… anyway, because this is an anonymous forum I can say that although I did not believe her and dismissed her mostly, it stayed in my head and everything he would do that was less than ideal I would remember her warning. Well, her words so affected me until i realized after almost a decade of shalom bais problems that subconcsiously i was holding on to that statement, even though intellectually i knew it was ridiculuous.
A very insensitive remark was made to me when I was finally pregnant with my son after many many years of davening. A “hosheve” Rebbetzin said, see, so many people started davening for you (she included) and now you are expecting… Sure it was true but it made me feel that all those times I begged Hashem for a child and cried so much i had no tears left meant nothing. Maybe this is silly, but I still felt that way.