To Cheerful; I sincerely feel for you in the situation you’re in.
I knew a girl with a similar situation. She didn’t communicate
with her parents till it was too late.
I have an idea that might help you convey your feelings to your parents
in a subtle way. Tell them you had a conversation with a friend of yours.
Tell them your friend has a friend that poured out her heart to her in cofidence.
Tell them she said that her parents, siblings and friends are expecting her to
marry a learning boy. She however is not looking for that type of boy,
her parents and friends are clueless to this fact.
Tell them her parents are not really the understanding type, and she has never told them for fear of them not understanding or being shunned.
She is a little older now and she fears she will never get married for her parents expect her to marry what they want. Tell your parents that you are at a loss for words
what kind of advice would they suggest you tell your friend.
This will plant the seed in their mind about the possiblity of such a situation.
Then you can also see their real opinion on the matter, without them feeling threatened or being biased.
Do this Cheerful, in your own words of course, in a way that they are sure you
are talking about a real story, about someone ELSE!
a wee or so later you can do one of three things,
1)Either start hinting to your (mother) or father rather, men are more rational, and wont be ruled by emotion, which will make your message easier to sink in.
2)Confide in a rational, reasonable, aunt, uncle,mentor, or teacher, that will help you approach your parents with the reality
of the situation.
3)Tell them flat out, one time in front of both of them, and when they start protesting tell them that they’re contraditing their own advice regarding that fictitious girl (really you).
This last approach is bold and is like pulling off a bandage stuck with hair off
in one shot. don’t try it unless your ready for a shouting match,
and if your parents are really unreasonable, pack a bag with clothes,
and stay by a friend for a few days. A single one of course,
wouldn’t want to start a whole other thread in CR with backlash on this comment.
Hatzlocha Raboh!!! Remember the CR has your back!