I think that aperson should sit down with a piece of paper and figure out what expectations they want when they are married, and with that in mind what kind of guy they want to marry. I think that this is one of the principal reasons why so many marraiges are unfortunately unraveling. You must have communication with the people around you, and a person should be open minded, but with knowledge of what you want in your future. Kollel is not for everyone. When I was single I was very pressured into marrying Kollel. I stood firm, and explained to my parents and mentors, that I was scared of having all the pressures of parnassa on my shoulders as a woman. I really admire the kollel women who are amazing mothers, teachers, housewifes and primary breadwinners. But not all woman are cut out for this. Of course parnasa is from Hashem and there is no garantee,but it should be known that kollel is a certain way of life and it is not for everyone. Nobody has the right to pressure anyone into a way of life that is not for them. We are all in this world to serve Hashem and to do our purpose in life, whether our husband is kovea ittim or learning full time. May Hashem help everyone to have mazal and an easy time finding their bashert.
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