Reply To: Binah-Shidduch Issue

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#682623
oomis
Participant

“Many times, the right one they haven’t met is themselves. “

Great line, even if I only partly agree with the rest of your post. Guys have as much nonsense to work on as do girls. The reason people are opposed to recommending self-improvement to older singles is very simple. It is very insulting and presupposes there IS something wrong with them. If it was your daughter having someone make that observation/recommendation to her, you would feel very bad (don’t say you wouldn’t, it’s easy to say anything, unless you are really nogaya l’inyan by watching your child chalilah grow up to be single in her 30s).

All of this might be true of SOME singles, but I think it is both simplistic and unfair to put that type of emotional burden on singles as a group. Many wonderful young women, and men too, are simply not meeting the right people for them, and it has nothing to do with the need for self-improvement, but more to do with bad timing, mazel, their yichus and money or lack thereof, their connections,their physical appearance and personalities (which may or may not be able to be altered in a positive way) and (may I repeat it?) their MAZEL. I really do not get why it is so hard for some people to understand this. It seems very clear to my friends and me when we talk about young people whom we know who are not married.