AZ, I will never believe that a shadchan without fail deserves to be paid for a shidduch that did go through. Unless it goes through it is not a shidduch – it is merely an attempted shidduch. I don’t pay a broker who ALMOST sells my house, no matter how hard he or she worked on the sale, and any commission-based employment is the same. You didn’t close the deal, you don’t get paid. If you feel that is unfair (and based on what you write, that is so), then have the written understanding BEFORE making a shidduch, that after a certain number of dates, a predetermined specific amount of money is to be paid, whether or not it goes to the chuppah. I am sure that will cut down on the number of people who continue to date when they are not “sure” if they really want to, after the first three dates. Money always talks.
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