artchill: in other words selfish!! If I benefit I will pay but if its the shadchan benefit I won’t. You can be sure that if the shadchanim weren’t so nice and stated their fees up front for their efforts- many people WOULD start paying.
Most salesman do not have their phones ringing from 7am-1am. It’s the reverse they go out and make the calls hoping to make a sale. People calling shadchanim asking, begging, demanding (due to frustration) their help, should be ready to pay for what they are asking them to do on their behalf.