Bemused – it doesn’t have to be huge change. It can be done slowly. If people express their hakoras hatov to a shadchan who put in 20 hours working on a shidduch that didn’t work, and give the shadchan $200 – that’s not a massive change. If you can’t afford that – give the shadchan a bit less. If you can afford more – give the shadchan a little more. It will encourage people to keep redding you shidduchim & in the long run – you’ll wind up benefitting!
As you wrote – change is hard – yes, but sometimes needed…