aries2756 – they may in fact be looking for a soul mate, and truly be ready for the responsibility of marriage. They may just not know exactly how to teich out each date, each nuance, each subtlety that becomes overt after a wedding. And once in the parsha, people on the outside become experts and in today’s world, even in the Torah world, are telling the boys that they don’t have to listen to their parents, because they know better. Boys get confused – why shouldn’t they? They can be temimusdik – this does not have to mean that they are not responsible, or not ready to get married.
I just read an article from a boy, a couple of weeks ago, in the Five Towns Jewish Times. This boy, a yeshiva bochur, described in the article how he missed the signs in the shidduch process, and “feels trapped”, as he is very unhappy. It didn’t sound to me that this boy was from a closed minded background, as he stated in the article how his parents always had families over on Shabbosim, with daughters, and he felt comfortable speaking with them. He went on to say how this did not help him at all, once he started in shidduchim.
So there is no pat answer for everyone. I’m just raising some points that may be considered before someone takes an achrayus of redting a shidduch to a boy or girl who will not be connected to a Torahdik mensch.