WolfishMusings and potsandpans – thank you for your clarification. I am sensitive to this topic because my own son was redt a shidduch who my husband and I both felt would not be good for him. It is now three years later, and unfortunately we were right, and our son is suffering. We are supportive of him and are encouraging him to seek the help he needs so that he can get back on his feet, and pull himself and hopefully his marriage together, so that he can grow with this nisayon. From my perspective, I think that many of today’s youth entering the parsha, are just not ready to make such a decision on their own. It’s not like twenty or thirty years ago, when their was a maturity level that was reached before boys and girls started to go on shidduchim. Today, it’s a function of time, the girl comes home from seminary, or the boy from E”Y, and the question of whether or not they are ready is just not on the table. And, on the other hand, I know only too well how right you are that many parents today are completely out of touch with their children, and who they really are, implying greater maturity on the part of the child than the parent. For this reason, I stand by what I said, that this question is very complicated, and Das Torah should be consulted because of the individuality of every situation, calling for individual responses.
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