GAW, my daughters are both very much opposed to marrying boys who are “learners.” they want MEN who are responsible adults, who will take care of their family obligations without waiting for a handout from parents, and who ALSO learn. The very girls who only say they want to marry full-time learners, believe that to be the best way, ebcause that is what they were conditioned to believe, either throughout their lives or in seminary. Seminaries are extremely influential, as are boys’ Yeshivahs, and when our kids are 8,000 miles away from mommy and daddy (those who want their children to get higher education and a profession, as well as learn), the influence on them is even greater, and they often drop any and all ideas they might have had for a professional future, either for the boys or for the type of boy the girls now feel is the only type they should marry. And if you followed my very convoluted run-on statement, Yasher Koach. bottom line, I am not sure that all those girls would want the lifestyle they claim to subscribe to, (some might, of course), were it not something that has been drummed into their dear little ears by people who have great hashpaah on them. The fact alone that this lifestyle requires them to not raise their own children, but rather to consign them to daycare or to (sometimes not even Jewish) nannies or housekeepers, in order to make the parnassah that rightfully should be made by their husbands, only strengthens my personal convictions. There are very few iluyim in Beis Medrash, even fewer future Gedolei Hador, and not many bochurim who are capable of being maggidei shiur. Even if the wife IS mochel her husband’s kesubah obligations out of some peer pressurized feeling that it is the only right thing to do – if that was what Hashem had wanted, it would be spelled out in the Kesubah, as well. Or is it, and perhaps I am unaware of that fact?
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