“oomis1105: If you want to solve a problem you need to know what the problem is, otherwise your head is in the sand”
I do not agree with that statement. I do know what I believe the problem is, just as you believe YOU know what the problem is. We each may come from a different angle, but the bottom line is the same. Boys have shidduchim suggested ad nauseum, and girls do not. Sometimes it is ONLY the bottom line that matters, not how one arrived at that destination.
It makes no difference to me if the problem is the age gap, the fact that there are more girls than boys, the fact that parents of boys only want girls from wealthier homes (so their precious Shmueli, Yanky, Yossie, Moishy can continue to learn while someone else provides his “kest”), or that boys are more desirable because they do not have to be as good looking as the girls they want to date (i.e. a boy does not need to be a certain body build, not in the same way that he and his mother expect his potential date to be a size 2-4). It might be that the girls are starting to wake up and want more out of life than to marry uneducated and unemployed boys who will not provide for them. It might be that the boys do not want shidduchim redt with girls who are still tied to their mommies and clearly too young to be dating for tachlis at 17 and 18. WHATEVER the reason is, there IS a serious problem, and that is the bottom line and all that I care about addressing.
In my humble or not so humble, but at least HONEST opinion, I feel sure the real reasons will never truly be addressed, because people are reluctant to face the fact that the process is not only flawed, but has been extremely detrimental to the future of shidduchim being made for all. The “researching” to death, the stupid profiles, the endless moronic and irrelevant questions that are asked of the so-called references, the inability of boys and girls to actually go on a date without interference, coaching, back and forthing between the shadchan and them,unrealistic expectations on both sides, and the rules, rules, and more RULES – this is why there is a crisis today. OK, I feel better now… Sorry about that rant.