The issue at hand is whether the present system of treating shadchanim like brokers is working or not.
Clearly it is not. Shadchanim are overwhelmed and parents/singles are frustrated.
This is NOT a question of Hakaras Hatov. This is a question of recognizing that if a shadchan has set up your child and it went to 3 dates then they have spent time and energy – and deserve to be compensated as much.
NO, a shadchan has not right after the fact to ask for such compensation. The point is that we as a community need to change and start paying them (proffesional or not) for the valuable service they provide.
As an aside, any community that instituted this can rest assure that they beging to get far more attention from proffesional and non proffestional shadchanim. when peoples effoers are appreciated and compensated for they are far more likely to work on your behalf.
This would help out of town communties far more than hiring one specific shadchan or trying video conference dating.
As and aside, I would venture to say that none of the above posters have had 5 shidduchim go out since succos. It’s obvious that the posters are unfamiliar with the unbelievable work involved in gettng dates set up. Please tell me I’m wrong….