“BP Totty, and how do the singles find out if the other is interested if the Shadchan has been asked to back out? “
Here’s a thought – and maybe it’s a bit radical for this blog – the boy calls her again within a couple of days to tell her what a great time he had and to either ask her out again then and there or ask her when it would be convenient to call to arrange for another date. If she feels likewise that she wants to see him, she agrees that she, too, had fun and eagerly says yes to the second date. If not, she tells him thank you very much for the pleasant evening they had, but she will be very busy and unavailable to go out (or whatever words she wants to use). They will have many awkward experiences to deal with in life, so this is good training for those occasions. Not every date goes well, and not every person will want to go out with the other person a second time. It is part of life. We don’t get hired for every job we want, either.
A parent of a 30 year old never married girl, who is still fielding the daughter’s shidduchim calls and turning away prospective matches without at least consulting with the daughter, clearly does NOT want that daughter to get married, no matter what the parent asserts to the contrary. For some reason, they like keeping her very emotionally dependent on them. Not very healthy for parent OR child.