so true!
i was recently at a lecture by rabbi dovid orlofsky…he told a very interesting story.
a man got married and told his wife that one of the conditions was that she understands that he is a “masmid” and that he will spend his whole day learning, and that she would have to bear the burden of taking care of the kids. before long they had three kids in yeshiva. all was going well…until they got into the higher grades and they started acting up…becoming problems. the wife, overwhelmed asked her husband for help, in response he reminded her of the condition. she was insistent and told him to go ask his rebbi. he told his rebbi “i dint understand…she knew the conditions of the marriage, what changed? she knew what she was getting into” the rebbi responded…”true…but your children didnt agree to that condition and they need a father. if you cant be a father to these children then give them up for adoption! youve already been mekayem the mitzvah of peru urevu!”
im not sure what the end of the story is…but the message is clear. derech eretz kadmah latorah!