Those who ask that we give sympathy to those who wish to legitimize Toeiva are dur to the fact that its a nisoyon are invited to look once again at the story of Dina and Shechem.
Rashi says clearly that what magnified the tragedy of Shechem was the simple fact that from the time of the mabul there had never beeen such a thing done.
In the history of Mankind there has been the nusoyon of Toeiva the biggest proof of this is the fact that there is an issur to engage in such behavior if there had been no nisoyon there would be know issur (alternativley the fact it is assur would create a nisoyon) yet at no time has there ever been a public discussion of it.
(Those who say there has been are asked to kindly state there sources)
It does not take a rocket scientist to understand why some things are kept hidden, publicizing something inherently legitimzes it.
Publicizing Toeiva gives a legitimacy on whatever level to the sole thing the Torah saw fit to call an abomination, it would seem obvious then that those who see fit to publicize it would ask Da’as Torah if it is permitted, if the gains they claim would come from such “discussions” outway the losses,
I would ask if those who had such a gathering did so L’shem Shomayim, if in truth they recognize the severity of what they have done then can they produce the Da’as Torah that allowed it? Can they produce the Da’as Torah that stated it is necessaty to do that which we have no mesorah for what so ever?
If the ansewer is they cannot produce the Da’as Torah then it shows they in fact do not comprehen the severity of what they discuss.It shows they have not done what they did as L’Shem Shomayim rather it was done because that is what pshycologists feel should be done.
Woe is to us who would toplerate turning our backs on the Torah in favor of a science brought to the fore by complete Kofrim (fread and co) Rav Gifter’s words remain relevant years later.