“If you dont know what is going on now with a large number our youth,
due to liberal parents not educating their kids and preparing their kids,
letting young teenagers run loose, meet whoever, whatever, wherever. etc..
Hashem Yeracheim. Have some common sense people, PLEASE!!! “
THAT is the crux of the problem. Parents have ceased to be parents, either in their desire to be their kids’ pals, or becuase they have so much going on in their work lives, social lives, etc. that they have abdicated thier parental role. Kids are being brought up by housekeeps, some of whom do not speak English. If parents were raisning their kdis properly as mine did, they would know where their kids are, they would CARE where their kids are going and whom they spend their time. My children always brought their friends home, and we always knew to whose home they were going. If they were expected back at a certain time, that is when they came home. And if they ever gave us reason to be disappointed in them, they had to earn back our trust. And they did.
I socialized with boys all my life, at shul, in College, on Shabbatons, in camp situtations, and I NEVER saw one problem with anyone. If anyone has readjusted the world, it is the Yeshivishe system that paints a girl as “trashy” for talking to boys, and the boys as not good Yeshivah bochurim if they do not cross the street when they see a girl.
We never had a shidduch crisis (in as great proportions as we see today)until the last ten or fifteen years, and more so now than ever before. If you want to feel that the problem rests elsewhere, that is your prerogative, of course. But I suggest you read the book about the shidduch crisis, by Dr. Michael Salamon (I do not have the exact name). He is a frum therapist who has been dealing with this problem for a long time now in his practice, and I would venture a guess that he might not agree with you, either, with all due respect.
BTW, Potsandpands, you write well, and I commend you for your articulate thought process, though I clearly disagree with you. I know many Yeshivah bochurim who BARELY speak to their female siblings or acknowledge their presence when they are home, much less learn how to have a regular conversation with a potential shidduch. Whatever works for you, keep doing it, as you are obviously content, B”H. But for the many, many boys and girls who are NOT able to meet their zivugim, or are getting divorced in the shana rishona, because they barely knew each other before getting married, this clearly has become more than a crisis. It is a plague.