Reply To: Children and Prizes–Hindering Intrinsic Self Worth

arc-I’m referring to all ages before teenage years-but more specifically the ages of 7-12. Those years are crucial in building who they are inside. They discover their own abilities in many areas, and if they are completely relying on a reward, then how are they going to know they can really do it on their own?

haifagirl also said quite well, what we used to feel back in the day. We were thrilled to get a good mark on the test, and a “metzuyan” written by the teacher.

I see that the children that are not dependant on rewards as they grow older, don’t shy away from hard work. They aren’t conditioned into laziness and aren’t afraid to try things they’ve never done before.

One more point that Ben Levi brought up is the “Bill of Obligations”. How important it is to instill in our children that they must take pride in the fact that serving Hashem has to do with obligations and not rights. A hidden brocha that can be felt in doing mitzvos, and even those that come with a certain level of sacrifice, is a closer connection to HKB”H, and the drive to try even harder. It will be so sweet for our children to feel that, with each and every mitzvah, and I think that unfortunately to reward every little thing will take away the “geshmak” in doing mitzvos l’shem shomayim. There is a time for it, but definitely not all the time like is being practiced.