Reply To: Children and Prizes–Hindering Intrinsic Self Worth

I agree that there are times for rewarding children’s accomplishments. Whether it’s for learning like the Rambam says, or for achieving certain goals, there are appropriate kinds of rewards for children.

But when it becomes an expectation by the child–“ok, I’ll do it, but what will I get for it?”–that is, in my opinion a failure in chinuch. It sometimes even carries over to the home, nebach, where the child says “what will I get if I make my bed, clean my room, help for shabbos?” What kind of adults will that produce? Surely it will lead to immense disappointment when they enter the adult world and not everything they do is rewarded.

As parents and mechanchim, I believe that one of the best gifts we can give our children is the ability for them to be self-sufficient, have an intrinsic self worth, and realize that they can accomplish on their own, without incentive/reward, great things because of the kochos that Hashem blessed them with.