ronrsr, How right you are!!!”many shadchans do say that things have changed a lot over the last 20 years, and their job has been made harder and less productive due to the preponderance of lists such as you describe….”.
I see the difference in dating when my older children married and those dating now and my friends and relative’s children dating now. I also brought about way over a hundred dates on a Shidduch website and none became Shidduchim. Other Shadchanim have made Shidduchim, only to have them get broken. It’s a Shadchan’s nightmare.
I watched Rabbi Tendler’s two part Shiur on Torahanytime where he compares the Kallah who tries on her wedding gown many times before the wedding and the more she tries it on, the less special it feels. He compares this to those who date many people and the effect it has.
This makes Shadchanim less willing to try…. unfortunately, for good reason.