useurbarin – A friend of mine belongs to a shidduch group. It’s a bunch of women who get together and try to help each other make shidduchim for their children and others. Some time back, they had a meeting where one of the woman was presenting her “notes.” She had just married off her last daughter and had notebooks filled with information about different boys. I was invited to the meeting as I am a quick typist and would be able to type up notes.
I heard almost no mention of midos. I did hear, however, whether each boy wore colored shirts and trimmed his beard. (Both of those are no-nos.)
I didn’t say anything during the meeting, but afterwards I did mention to my friend how disgusted I was that they seemed to care more about externalities than midos. She agreed that midos were important, but didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with the way the information about the boys was presented.