moish: “i know i’m not really part of this thread”
well, you are now! 🙂
seriously speaking, the first step of growth is knowing where you are. Sit down, and be honest with yourself: how well am I doing? Do I learn/daven/talk/etc like I should? What am I doing wrong, what am I doing right? What do I need to work on? If you’re not honest with yourself, and you don’t know where you’re holding, how can you possibly change yourself?