I was not going to reply to this thread until other men jumped in. If the women feel that I am hijacking the thread, I am sorry.
I must say that I am amazed by the common sense shown by the women posters on this thread. Perhaps the gene for common sense is on the X chromosome–and women get a double dose? (Nerdy joke–I do realize how genetics works.)
The necessity for women working in many families (including my own) is unquestionable. This is especially true if the man learns and does not bring in any money to help the family. Now, mind you, if a family chooses to live in this manner–it is their choice–and if any of the rest of us have an objection to the lifestyle, tough. As far as the need for others to support that lifestyle–well, that is a matter for another thread.
One of my basic questions for those families living that lifestyle is–how much do the men help around the house? If your wife works and takes care of the children, do you share in the latter duties–or any of the housework? Does the man do the laundry? Putting in a load takes about 5 minutes, as does a transfer to the dryer. What about cooking? Cooking an average meal takes 10 minutes. How about the weekly shopping? How about the homework?
A kollel life means that one is attuned to the Jewish clock. If the wife has a heavy schedule, why can’t the kollel man cook for Shabbat? What–the Rebbeim won’t understand that time is short on winter Fridays when the wife has to work? Many recipes are quick and easy. A good chicken dish takes 10 minutes to prepare, and a cholent about the same. Doing all of that ensures that your wife has a little time for other things.
SJSinNYC posted: “Which means to me that the father is required to work to pay tuition. After all, he is supposed to provide a teacher for his son’s potential (unknown as a child, so you should assume he could be a talmid chacham). “
While I agree, allow me to add a qualifier: We should provide teachers for our daughters’ potential, as well as that of our sons. Not only do we not know for where will come our next Rita Levi-Montalcini, Rosalyn Yalow, or Ada Yonath–we do not know for where will come our next Bruria or Nechama Leibovitz. The potential is there, just as with our sons.