I find myself deeply impressed by the statement that tznius is the primary mitzvah of women, just as talmud torah is the primary mitzvah for men. In most frum communities, men are encouraged to learn more torah through positive reinforcement, and it is generally understood that not all men have the same affinity/ ability in this area.
In fact, according to Joseph’s posts in the kollel thread, even a wife earning a living to support her husband in kollel should only encourage & support his torah growth. She should avoid criticizing him even if she notices that he isn’t using his time as well as he can, since the main point is that he is growing in his learning. And this is something that she is not able to assess for herself.
Perhaps we should consider a similar approach to encouraging greater tznius in dress. Ames noted in an earlier post that this positive approach is yielding great results in her community. And I agree with the example that squeak gave as well, of using positive comments (with an appropriate light touch) to encourage other women to grow in their observance of this mitzvah.
NY Mom, I see that this mitzvah is important to you, and you indicate that you are very careful in how you dress. You seem to be concerned because some women around you are not as careful, and this is having a negative effect on men. This may be a legitimate concern, but perhaps you would accomplish more if you could try to manifest your concern in a more positive way.
For what it’s worth, I probably do dress in a way that meets your standards, and I admit that I’m not very good at noticing other people’s clothing (I’ve always been a geek though I do make the effort to dress appropriately for special occasions). So this is an easy thing for me to say, and likely a lot more difficult to implement. You do have so much energy & enthusiasm and I know you could accomplish a great deal, & maybe this idea would help.