Naaleh.com presents Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller discussing how to have Meaningful and Productive Summers for Our Children. Summertime is a time of possibilities. Summertime is also very long and if it is unstructured it can be a challenge. Therefore, we must be prepared and find the right structure. As Ravi Tzvi Meir says, ‘the icur (main thing) is to be prepared’.
Young children are used to a structured day. We need to ask ourselves, what do we want our children to gain, and there needs to be realistic, concrete plans. At least one weekly outing is necessary to avoid cabin fever and allow bonding time with parents. Its helpful to do this outings with another parent.

First, decide what time of day is best for an outing. Plan a time when children will be alert and interested. Next, you will need to figure out how will you get there and what you will do on the outing, including what will be eaten on the trip and during the outing (bring items you do not need to prepare and that are well liked and easy to eat), and what games will be played. Make sure to have different activities for different ages. If going with another family, take turns watching the little ones so you are able to spend time with older children.

Allow for unstructured play, and bring a book along to read at the end to help the children unwind. 2-3 hours total for the outing is all you need, so that the children will want to return again. Its a good idea to have dinner prepares ahead of time, since everyone, yourself included, will be tired.

Other activities can include doing crafts, factory tours or swimming. In general, each day should have structure. Wakening around the same time, eating breakfast and some structured activities should be done everyday. During summer, children don’t need constant structure, but they do need supervision.

In general, older children do better in camp then at home. While there is value to overnight came, such as counselor role modeling and forming relationships, it can be a financial stress so see if you can find a day camp with all the good qualities of an overnight camp. You may have to be your own day camp in a situation where this is no appropriate camp, the hours are very short of the cost is too much. The children will need a very planned and structured day. If you have talented children, get them together with other children to make a choir, put on plays, or anything else. Its worthwhile to spend money on props that the children will enjoy.

Leaving pre-teens and teenagers with unstructured time is to be avoided.  One idea is to divide the summer into 3 segments: chessed, earning money and fun.

Volunteering with children is a good chessed option. If this is not available then you can try for opportunities that require supervision, such as helping a large family or delivering packages to the poor. Jobs such as working at a day camp, babysitting, or working in stores for people you know are all options. You need to make sure if they work in a store that it is an appropriate environment. This may mean that you are the one paying your children in order to ensure they are in the proper atmosphere.

The fun part of the summer involves using some of the money they made, and perhaps some contribution from parents, for something fun. Its necessary to know where they are going and with whom, but be a hidden presence from your child in this regard.

At this age there are certain issues you deal with in terms of your teens not doing what you want them to do. Getting them up to daven in the morning is one issue. You may have a son who is sleeping  to 10:30 and missing every single zman tefillah. This can be blamed on late nights but also teens need sleep and may want to break free of the  rigorous schedule they have during the year. Purchasing the teen his own alarm clock and letting them be responsible is a good idea. Another option is promising a reward, such as pizza with three friends for a week of waking up on time. In addition, you can actually show your teen in the gemara where is talks about zmanin or show them inspiring books on the subject. But, if you have a child that nothing works then this may be subconscious rebellion. These teens are showing the world they can do what they want, and we should not make this a battle.

Another issue that arises with teens in the summer is the issue of proper dress, and planning helps. If they make reasonably good choices during the year, make a fun day out of it and go shopping for some casual wear. There can be a relaxation of standards but remind them to still act properly, that Hashem is always there, wherever you go. You cannot watch teens all of the time, and its not healthy to do so.

Give teens enough to do and talk every so often of where they are going in life, who they want to be, and how they want to effect others around them as well.

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(YWN Desk – NYC)