I agree with you. If a person has a severe problem which is not under control they should not yet be looking for a spouse. However, my point is that shidduchim is so crazy these days. People “pasul” a shidduch for all kinds of reasons, without looking at the individual or their specific circumstances.
If the parents are divorced- no good. If they have a down syndrome sibling – not for us. If they go to a certain school – I don’t think so. The father is a ger – that’s not for our family. What happened to looking at each person individually? Do the people in the above circumstances not deserve to get married?
In this case, if a person has a diagnosis, takes medication, goes to therapy, and their therapist agrees that they could take the step to date, doesn’t that person deserve a chance?
I’m saying that the above facts which don’t sound so wonderful at face value, may not even be an issue when you know the person. This might an inconsequential fact about their life that doesn’t affect their ability to be a good spouse. Maybe it does. But I don’t think people should be summarily dismissed just because something like that comes to light.
Hey, I have been involved in a potential shidduch where the guy was everything the girl wanted, but he had a beard and she didn’t want a guy with a beard, so she said “no” out of hand! We all need to get a grip and “have some seichel”!