mrs. beautiful:
first of all, rav wolbe says that there is one thing in life that no one can tell you what to do. parents or rabbis can not instuct anyone on who they should marry. so that whole bit about listening to parents doesn’t apply when it comes to marriage.
now, i understand that parents can help guide their children. but i must say they are not always right. and i respect rabbonim greatly but they don’t always know YOU. i broke off a shidduch on my own despite the fact that my mother thought i was insane. and i spoke to a very chashuv rav (widely known but i think i shouldn’t post his name) three times. all three times he disregarded my concerns and told me to go ahead with the shidduch. should i have listened? maybe. i would’ve had a good marriage. but i know myself well (maybe too well!) and i felt it wasn’t right. besides, how much responsibility do you actually want to hold for your children’s marriages?!