“Additionally, my husband has a friend going through some Shalom Bayis issues now, some of the stories he tells, insinuate not a lack of middos, but a basic lack of maturity”
That is because of the fact that due to the nature of how our boys and girls are being taught idealized versions about marriage, they are often shocked when they are forced to cash a reality check. Not all parents can or necessarily want to support their children. many are willing to help out occasionally, but not as an expected entitlement. I am of the school that says that whatever a parent is willing to do for a child is a chessed, but it should not come to be expected as the child’s due. Kids need to learn to stand on their own two feet. We did.