This topic brings to mind a personal experience.
Boy gave a yes and was red to girl. Girl’s parents called references and one refrence happened to be a distant relative, so the girl’s mother trusted the person. Mother asked this referenc if boy or family has any physical or emotional issues. This refrence who was a istant relative of girl, but close friend of boy, said No. Other references were called and boy and girl began to date. In the midle of dating, someone told girls parents that boy has a serious health issue. Mother went back to original reference, who she trusted and he said that the boy got a Psak from a Rov that as long as he tells girl of the sitch by the fifth date, he doesnt have to tell in the beginning and references have to cover for him. I’d like to know how Rov would feel if girl woul be his daughter.
Really sad for the girl, but sadder for the boy who is prob. always on emotional roller coaster, when each girl finds out on the 5th date (or earlier) and drops the Shidduch.