“If one dates for a longer period of time, one is able to find out certain things that only become evident with time. For example, whether he/she is selfish, egotistical, has habits that you cannot live with, mental/psychological issues ect.. also, if he has certain attitudes that might result in abuse (c”v)…. “
I strongly agree with this. Some personality traits are kept hidden during the initial “honeymoon” phase of a dating situation (the first several weeks). After several months, people tend to relax their guard and their truer nature comes through. Even Roshei Yeshivah do not always know about a bochur, if all they see is his shteiging away. That is only one aspect of his personality. I would rather know from the boys who dorm with a bochur, or spend their non Yeshivah time with him, what thier opinion of his character is, and I would want to know that the person whom I am questioning is himself a reliable and balabatish person.