GAW, you asked me another very cogent and relevant question – what if it was “Yena MAchla? (why are we afraid to say cancer?). think that to be perfectly honest, and I always do try to be – that depending on the cancer, and the family history of it, I would be very much frightended. BUT – there are screening procedures, and preventive measures that can lessen the odds of the person contracting the disease, or at least being able to diagnose and treat it early enough for it to not cause the same absolutely inevitable sorrow that smoking does. Let’s say that a young woman has a history of breast cancer in the family. Not her mother or grandmother, but maybe an aunt. I would not automatically have a concern the way I would were it to be that her grandmother, mother, aunt, and sister all had it, and maybe died from it. If my son were to meet such a girl, I would definitely worry about the latter situation. Would I stop the shidduch from going forward? I cannot be sure. I think maybe yes, but I cannot say that for a certainty. It is a possibility that the girl could develop it some day, but with good health care, proper early screening and treatment, it does not have to be a death sentence these days. Unlike Lung cancer, emphsyema and stomach cancer, breast cancer has a better remission rate.
As to your mention of my daughters – thank you very much. They DO deserve to marry wonderful guys (who are non-smokers). If you knew them, you would know how really true that statement is. So send good thoughts their way, and who knows… maybe I will have good news to report one of these months.