Still trying to articulate why the boy giving the yes first is preferable. A few thoughts:
– if the playing field were even, might be different. But what’s happening now as opposed to a generation ago is that the girl says yes, but she’s still only one of a number in the running. Whereas the girl most likely isn’t being presented with a dozen or more boys at the same time.
– if I can’t articulate it well, does that mean, as per the Brisker Rav, that I really don’t understand? Take an example like alternative lifestyles. Our visceral reaction is, the Torah says no! It’s been ingrained in us and we may not feel a need to say more.
For me, when it comes to shidduchim, tznius is something that has been ingrained and frankly, I really can’t get into the mindsets of some of the commenters here. When it comes to marriage tznius and proper treatment of women is a cornerstone. Shouldn’t this be the same in the steps leading to marriage?