Moish was it the hypocritical attitude that caused you to go “off”?
(I just used that for lack of a better term, it makes you sound like a light switch.)
one more question (I know I’m heading toward a random question award) but if you do something which you know is forbidden, which part are you doing it for? the sin itself, the idea of going against that which you’ve been taught all along, or just being able to do whatever you want?