Teen, please try and honestly answer the few questions at the end of my previous post to you. take the time to re read the “ideal life scenerio and answer those questions. you will see your situation from another perspective givving you more clarity to see what you really want deep down and if it’s not perhaps not the same thing that they want for you but there is other bagage in the way.
You asked me”but dont you think that if it is just pushing me further off that it is smarter for them to kind of let go?” nobody can push you further away just as nobody can pull you closer. You can go in anyway that you wan’t you have choice – Bechira that is the way G-d created us for reasons that I will not go into now. Your parents can influence you one way or another and if they are succesfull at influencing you in a positive manner you will make the decisin and shoose to let them influence you or you will choose to not let them influence you. On the other hand if you really would look into yourself , forget your parents. what if they wher not in the picture if they would chas vesholom be in an accident or something. What do you really want for yourself. remember at the end it’s you and g-d and you have the choice to choose life. I think you will be just fine,