Squeak:
1) That would require you to physically have my computer, unless you were to try to sneak in a trojan horse, which would not likely be successful. Even if you had my computer physically, I seriously doubt that you could get past the security on my machine.
2) Short of any physical hardware installed, I guarantee that I can detect and disable any keylogger/spying program that you have access to. Just because they are stealth programs does not mean they are invisible. Someone who has above-average computing skills (and I do) can figure that out pretty easily.