teenager- i do not mean to attack u in any way. i totaly understand you as someone in my family is going thru the same thing. i just want to ask u- if s/t were to happen to ur bf. chas v’ shalom and he lived but was disabled as a result ( paralized, brain damage etc.) would u feel the same about him or bail out? i would assume u would bail out (eventually) as he has nothing left to offer u. if u were married and had built a relationship beyond the physical, this would be a MUCH tougher question to answer.
my point is that as much as you think you are in love with this guy, it is not a solid relationship. as much as you think its what you both want, it is ruining your whole take on what a healthy marriage relationship is. for that alone, it would be worth it to stop the physical aspect of ur relationship. if you can do that and remain “just friends” thats great. other wise, quit now- ull be doing urself and your guy a huge favor. good luck!