BS”D
SyrianSephardi:
From Teenager’s posts, I have no idea what her relationship is with her parents or how strict they are in their practices. As I really want to see if I can find her someone who can help, I will look at them more closely tomorrow before Shabbos B”N.
Teenager:
I can’t promise anything but if you would like to communicate with someone via the Internet I will try to find you that someone who can help. I don’t want you to reveal your location to me; I’d rather find you someone online and then perhaps that person will know someone locally who can help (or perhaps Hashem will guide me to someone who turns out to live a few hundred meters away from you).
Does the person have to davka be from the same segment of frumkeit/same community that you are from? I am a Lubavitcher (of the very “chassidish” type) but I am less than 2 degrees of separation from Yidden all over the spectrum especially when it comes to people who can elevate the communications technology that Hashem revealed by using the Internet and phone/messenger software to help others.
Regarding the staring, I am speaking about ehrliche guys.
However, I have also met decent frum men who have a big yetzer when it comes to staring and the like and even making comments. Pay them no attention; it is their yetzer at work and they rarely act on this in any way. Sometimes it is just hard for a man or bochur to avoid looking – if it bothers you and occurs in a particular situation such as chassunes or restaurants/pizza shops/shopping on your local main street then perhaps it is best for you to be in a group and not alone when in that situation.
(again I am in very dangerous territory) If you are considered very attractive and the staring bothers you, much as I hate to say it, perhaps avoid makeup and jewelry or wear shapeless clothing of the sort you would wear at home or to the gym so as to avoid any unpleasant eye contact. The message you will then be conveying is that you don’t want anyone looking at you and that you want to be ignored. In that case also choose glasses over contacts if you need eye correction (which you should do anyway if you are active in any way be it sports, cooking or manual hobbies. I had a mishap with Liquid-Plumr before Pesach a couple of years ago and I would have lost my right eye if I had not taken my Rebbe’s advice and gone ahead and worn contacts – instead all that happened is that I damaged the coating on my old right eyeglass lens).
But do not think every man is a potential abuser; I can’t imagine what you have gone through and can therefore understand your fear and lack of comfort, but not every man is a menuval.
Again I wish you the best and I would like to help in some small way if I can.