BS”D
You should not be struggling alone (and of course you are never alone because Hashem is with you all the time). But is there someone you can reach out to in “real” life? Of course we are all here for you but you can probably find someone to talk to in confidence, either in person, or by phone or messenger software.
Where are you located? In a large community or are you one of a few frum people where you live?