Dear Rachelli–it seems you are at a point of reaching out for guidance, and when your mind and heart are open to it, then the search for the one who can give it to you is crucial. May I humbly suggest, that if there is a woman out there who you admire, respect, look up to, and will take a sincere interest in you, completely altruistically, that you get in touch with her. Someone who will not make you feel negatively judged, and who can touch your neshama, and give you the time that you need….much hatzlocha…and remember, Hashem is always available, always wants to hear what is on your mind and burning in your heart….it is sometimes very hard to build that relationship with Hashem when overwhelmed by pain and confusion,,,but deep down it is so healing for the neshama to be able to connect through just talking to Hashem—telling Him what you feel and ask Him to help you….their is nothing more whole then the voice of a broken heart.
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