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To kiruvwife: I felt exactly as you did when we were in Kollel. My husband and I were not supported by parents-we managed all by ourselves with siyata dishmaya. I wonder if all the people who go to Kollel would know that they have to self support-if they would still do it. For four years we lived on $1400 a month after taxes. Bein hazmanim we took on extra jobs. My husband worked at really low paying jobs, warehouse, dry cleaning, barber, because he had no secular education. I worked from 8 am until 8pm. I can’t begin to tell you the great respect he has for both Zevulun and Yissaschar. We also learned self respect because we did not take handouts.
I am irked by the prevailing attitude today that working boys are somehow less desirable. I propose that anyone who wants to be in kollel today be told that he will have to do so on his own without support (as we did). And that bein hazmanim he works. What about the working kollel wife earning low wages? I know so many young kollel wives today and they do not know what it means to earn the learning. They also do not work, have cleaning ladies, go shopping, and to “coffee” weekly, and to a gym. Who is funding this? No wonder so many want to go to kollel!!