“Do you look at me (and other modern orthodox people) the same way? Please give me an honest answer.”
But that is the point, exactly! NOBODy should be doing that? Only Hashem should be looking at us and judging. And there is a huge world of difference between thinking as you do about a co-worker who clearly does not keep minimal kosher standards outside of the home (I am not judging him, I know many people like him), and comparing some of the posters here who are more Yeshivish, with those posters who are not quite yeshivish, but who nonetheless follow the halacha properly as MOJ. If I keep Shabbos k’hilchasa, and they do the same – there is no difference between our shmiras Shabbos. If I accept the OU Hashgocha, but they ONLY accept the hashgocha of their particular Rabbi, that does NOT make either of us better than the other. I don’t think your friend missed the proverbial boat. I think he is doing the best he feels he can within the confines of his religious experience. It is better than doing nothing at all, and who knows – his acquaintance with you and admiration of your principles, may inspire him. In any case, hashem gives credit for all that we do, even when we fall short.
It’s how I feel about the idea that an eiruv should be erected in every community. There may be Jews who are mechallelei Shabbos CH”V, but with an eiruv, at least they are mechallelei Shabbos in one LESS area.