Sjs,
I think you are right that it is starting to sound like we agree, I just want to clarify a bit more.
It’s not an issue of keeping score. Hashem has taught us in his Torah many times that people who do things wrong are going to gehennom. That’s just the way it is.
Again, I’m not saying we have to walk around all day telling every person we meet that so-&-so is going to gehennom. It’s just the way it is.
Your thing with “accepting” things REALLY irks me (in case you haven’t noticed 🙂 )
I just don’t get it. Based on the explanation you just offered it sounds like what your saying is “I accept that osama bin laden wants to kill as many americans as possible”.
You have no control over it, so you accept it.
If that IS what you mean, so who cares if you accept it or not? It’s a fact of life.
When you said (in the past) things like “I accept her the way she is” you IMPLY that you CONDONE her behavior, (despite your repeated denials of this), because if it just means you accept that it’s a fact of life, who cares? She does it whether you accept it or not, so the statement is really irrelevant.
The concept of “tinok shenishba” states, in one sentence, that people who don’t know any better being that they were raised with no knowledge of frumkeit are not responsible for the aveiros they do.
As you can imagine, who is & who is not included in this category is a HUGE shaila, hence all the nasty rhetoric.